by Sonic Youth have enough songs that earned them their due shine by virtue of reaching mainstream consciousness, but those same hits have also eclipsed the full extent of their brilliance.
From just listening to their music, it’s almost impossible to guess that the group were in fact signed to a major label for the majority of their career. Still, they never submitted to being employees of the music industry. Even as they remained firm in their intentionally haphazard pursuit, only a small fraction of the tunes they were churning out were placed in the spotlight. This, of course, wasn’t a reflection of their best work. While ‘Kool Thing’, ‘Bull in the Heather’ and ‘100%’ are unmistakably Sonic Youth, they also only scratch the surface of the ravishing mess that was out of MTV’s line of sight. Like any talented band, their greatest hits also limited the public’s understanding of who they truly were from head to toe.
A lot of their songs got obscured by the voluminous catalogue that holds them, and the band’s 2009 album ‘Sonic Nurse’ has a similar place in their timeline. The misty aesthetic of the uncertified classic is neutralised by its delicate pulse, which is most evident on cuts like ‘Dripping Dream’, ‘Dude Ranch Nurse’ and ‘New Hampshire’. However, one track in particular captures the essence of the entire project better than the rest.
While Kim Gordon is arguably one of the most important figures in music history, ‘I Love You Golden Blue’ makes this damn-near impossible to object to. Without question, one of her most intimate pieces, this one has an emotional depth unlike anything else the New York outfit ever put out. I personally have spent far too much time trying to find the same feelings this song brought out of me in other recordings by Sonic Youth, and at no point have I come even close.
Rainy days aren’t too common for me since I live in Los Angeles, which also makes it that much easier to romanticise ephemeral gloom. Every time the sky turns grey, I play ‘I Love You Golden Blue’ a minimum of ten times in a row. Late-career compositions rarely get the credit they deserve, so this one has become the open secret that brings me the most comfort. It’s something I listen to on full volume while driving around aimlessly through the rare absence of colours in Southern California.
The strange thing about this cut is that it’s just as haunting as it is reassuring. Despite its murky exterior, it is also my safe space — one within which I’m able to find some peace of mind. Sad though it may be, there’s something quite therapeutic and relatable about Gordon’s exhaustion as she sings the lines, “I can’t read your mind / I can’t find the time / I can’t feel the thrill / I don’t have the will.”
What’s more, she isn’t even really a singer, yet her whispered vocals carry more strength than any trained singer I can think of. Perhaps it’s that raw, “unprocessed” authenticity of her voice that has me entirely convinced it’s all directly from the heart. While the helplessness imbued in the song clearly doesn’t inspire even a tiny shred of hope, it has the power to help those going through something similar feel less alone.
‘Sonic Nurse’ is an essential part of Sonic Youth’s chronology, and ‘I Love You Golden Blue’ is its crown jewel. Recorded toward the end of their 30-year stint, the song perfectly encapsulates the tender and intricate side of a group that was typically characterised by noise and chaos.
